A Crew of Misfits
by Teddster
Summary: Five various players, all lacking in knowledge of survival, try their best to survive and even thrive in a land that's not really all that hostile. Read as they face challenges like the End, amnesia and the truly evil pufferfish. (Collection of drabbles/oneshots that are loosely connected)


**Chapter 1: Who Knows**

**Starting Out**

_Server Status: Online_

_Teddster77 joined the game._

_Matthew67 joined the game._

The spawn area was a nice, thick oak forest, cows and pigs occasionally in sight as they slowly trudged between numerous oak and birch trees. As the two characters settled themselves, Ted doing a short scan of the area and Matt straightening his already straight labcoat, Ted uttered a very thoughtful and inspiring opinion of the map around him:

"Meh."

"Meh?" Matt questioned, pushing his glasses up upon his nose once more and wandering over to a tree.

"Meh," Ted agreed, finding interest in a chicken that paid no heed to his existence.

"Why meh?" Matt frowned.

"This area... it's... boring."

"But easy to survive in?"

"Yeah, but," Ted frowned, waving his arms in the air wildly, "it's _boring_." Because repeating your point makes it a better one, obviously. "We should try again. Maybe stuck in the middle of a desert, or trapped in the arctic-"

"Or we could just punch some trees and go find a place to make a home?" Matt offered, always the sane (and boring) one.

"I could make it interesting-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

Ted huffed, crossing his arms and turning away. Matt, figuring the matter settled, quickly went to punching some trees-

_Teddster77: Summoned Enderdragon (x10)_

"OhshitIdidn'tactuallythinkthatwouldwor-"

_Teddster77 was slain by Enderdragon._

_Matthew67 was slain by Enderdragon._

...

"Heh."

_Matthew67: De-opped Teddster77._

* * *

**Testing the Waters**

"Hey, Ted!"

The proud, rather curious voice of his traveling companion brought Ted to peek out of their tiny hole in the ground they called their temporary home. The man that called himself 0mitted (with specific instructions that it was, indeed, led by a zero, not an O, but pronounced the same as the letter) looked up proudly at him from the lake. Well, Ted assumed that his expression was one of pride; the featureless, gray mask that covered his face really hindered his facial movements.

Ted wandered out of the hole in the ground, dropping his pick into their chest on the way out, and wandered the short trek down to the river. They'd been there overnight and had planned to leave that morning, until 0mitted came up with the idea to try his hand at fishing. He'd taken a quick liking to it and so they decided to stay there for a bit while 0mitted fished for treasure.

That had been six hours ago.

0mitted stood up from his position near the lake, carefully setting his sixth fishing rod for the day to the side and holding up something attacked to a hook. It was a fat, round, yellow fish, with tiny spikes all over it. Ted couldn't quite recall the name of it, but was pretty sure it puffed up or something.

"It's a pufferfish!" 0mitted confirmed, and Ted's eyes widened, completely surprised by this turn of events. "...What do we do with a pufferfish?"

"Throw it back into the water and let it live out a peaceful life full of happiness?" Ted suggested.

"We should eat it!" 0mitted declared, completely ignoring Ted. "Or, actually," he thought for a moment. "You should eat it!"

"0mitted, really-"

"Go ahead! It's fine!" 0mitted insisted. Hesitantly Ted took the hook, looking at the pufferfish with distrust.

"Aren't these things, like, poisonous?" Ted wondered.

"Eat it!" 0mitted prodded. Ted shrugged, and, hesitantly, took a small bite of the pufferfish. He chewed silently for a moment, face stoic, before shrugging.

"Not bad."

After that, he vomited into the river.

Ted staggered back, face pale, and he tossed the pufferfish into the river, watching with triumph as it floated away forlornly.

"Well," he croaked, then twitched once and fainted.

"Oh," 0mitted said. "Oops."

* * *

**Boss Battle**

The air of the End Realm was crisp, still, unfitting for the battle currently going on. The only sound was the warbles of all the Endermen, a dragon's roar, and occasionally bursts of fear and pain from the two Minecrafters dancing around in a realm they weren't meant to be in.

Matt and Ted ducked behind a pillar, armor glowing iron and swords smooth diamond, panting heavily as the pressed their backs to the cold obsidian.

"This was an awful plan," Ted gasped out. Mutely, Matt nodded.

"H-have you seen a way out?" Matt questioned.

"Is the bottomless void a way out?"

"Not quite."

"Then no, I haven't."

And that was an Enderman.

The pair of Minecrafters crouched instantly, armor restricting them as a pair of claws swiped over them, not able to penetrate the powerful obsidian tower. The pair lunged in opposite directions, each taking a swing at the Enderman and not being surprised when it teleported away.

Suddenly a wild group of them appeared before them, eyes blazing and mouths hanging low. They growled, shuddering in response to the dragon's roar, and rushed forward, every one of them charging towards Matt. They descended upon him, claws banging against and denting his iron arm, knocking him around.

Now this just wouldn't do.

Ted rushed forward, sword raised, and waded into the group, sword swinging wildly. It cleaved through an Enderman, purple blood gushing forth. He turned again, blocking a wild claw swing and and sinking his blade deep into the mob's hide. The Enderman shuttered, disappearing in violet smoke, and Ted turned, sword flashing.

As the last Enderman fell, he helped Matt to his feet with a wry grin, handing him the last health potion. Matt nodded in thanks and-

"OW SHIT!"

Ted danced away, warm blood falling from the side of his neck, and he grimaced, holding up a hand to the wound. He glanced up at his attacker and froze, meeting the eyes of nearly a dozen angry, barely wounded Endermen.

Maybe his plan wasn't the best.

_Teddster77 was slain by Enderman._

The gift of sound and color was welcome back in their home, but Ted danced around nervously, hurriedly looting the chests for extra armor and weapons. The End Portal was-

-miles away.

Oh, hell-

_Matthew67 was slain by Enderdragon._

Matt appeared in the room a second later, thanks to the gift of respawn, and sat down on the bed sadly.

"So."

"So?" Matt questioned.

"This is the part where we cheat, right?"

"Oh definitely."

* * *

This is a weird idea thing I had that will update whenever. There are going to be more main characters and the stories aren't exactly related. Also, I'll return to actually writing the things I should be writing soon, I swear.


End file.
